What do you think is the stupidest Horror movie ever made?

I'm going with Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker! (2001). Also one of the worst I've seen. But it's stupidity and retardation outweighs even the badness.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8t-GFyrZ8MY

Still not totally unwatchable, though.

Thanks to Shaza (aka the world's biggest Mulva fan) for providing the Youtube clip.

I really can't choose....V/H/S Viral maybe? I could say something like Troll 2, but that's too easy.

V/H/S Viral

A terrible movie. And completely unnecessary sequel.

>>3

A terrible movie. And completely unnecessary sequel.

Yeah, the only decent segment imo is the one that was removed, Gorgeous Vortex. It's the only one that didn't make me facepalm because of stupidity, it took itself seriously, it wasn't cheesy and it was even kind of creepy and it even made me think.

Definitely VHS viral is one of the worst mainstream horrors I have seen. You know the first two movies were not bad at all. VHS 2 was actually pretty good. But damn the third sucks! The only reason I gave it a 3 was because of that Nacho vigolondo short.

I agree with this. 'Viral' definitely was a HUGE step down from the previous two, though I don't think the second was all too great either save for the "Safe Haven" segment (which is horror at its finest) and a few amusing moments in "A Ride in the Park".

Maybe Zombiez. They used plastic weapons that you would buy for a Halloween costume. Some November I need to see a trifecta of Vampiyaz, Zombiez, and Bloodz vs. Wolvez.

>>7
I seen that. Big novelty props make good weapons for Zombies.

A Virgin Among the Living Dead.

Franco made some damn good movies, but this was...not one of them.

>>9
No.

>>10
Why was it good?

>>11
Cuz that's the way Jess Franco made it.

>>12
Hahaha.

A Virgin Among the Living Dead.

I like this one a lot.

Cornhole: The Movie (2010)

Four groups of quirky characters... gain a certain level of minimal fame in the Cincinnati based sport of Cornhole.

>>15
What's with the sudden interest in cornholing?

>>16
Well it turned out to be a happy accident. I was actually looking to see how many Children of the Corn movies there really were, and then the "tag line" came into my head and I couldn't stop laughing.

You may be pleased, or horrified, to learn that there are actually a good number of real IMDB listings with the term cornhole in them. Makes me wonder if a good portion of the population doesn't know what that word means.

Anyways, I was pleased. I think this may make the term bulletproof? I mean how can IMDB censor a word that's actually in the title of one or more of their own listings?

I think I'm on to something here.

Finally, on a personal note, I know it's a matter of taste but I've always enjoyed the activity as well. I hope that's not too "unladylike."

Off topic, do you know the secret identity of that really rude fellow that keeps crashing threads called SuperFratBoyExtreme?

RUDE! I said rude, Sean!

I'm pretty sure there's 7 Children Of The Corns, and one remake. I couldn't finish Children Of The Corn 666 after years of wanting to see it for some reason. Looking back, none of them were all that great.

I'm thinkin' "cornhole" is a pg-13 way of saying "ass fuck/rape". Still a fun word. I give ya that.

Finally, on a personal note, I know it's a matter of taste but I've always enjoyed the activity as well. I hope that's not too "unladylike."

I have no idea, really. But please do go on.

Who, that SuperFratBoyExtreme guy? I'm not sure his identity is a secret, but he's just some redneck dude who has apparently decided this board is filled with a bunch of snobby cunts who won't let him in their clique.

SuperFratBoyExtreme I do think I did see his name in the past but he certainly doesn't come across to me as a /tele/ board regular or maybe he just visits the threads I don't care for. He certainly doesn't look like a newbie since he posts on /lounge/. However you can be 4 years or longer on here and never post anything.

People who only post here once every blue moon aren't gonna be the most well known posters, and their threads probably won't get the most replies. Some of us know eachother. Some of us don't. It has nothing to do with the regs being cliquish. If he only has time to come around every now and then, then tough shit. I don't know what he expects from this place.

The most stupid that I have ever seen was Cornman

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0295206/

I'm actually shocked at the rating of 5,7. I thought it would have been between 2 and 3.

Well it's not labled as horror but it surely has some corny gore scenes.

>>21
I can't believe you saw that one too. I thought the cornholing scenes would redeem it, but boy was I wrong.

On a rare non-cornholing related topic, I read your post before it was deleted from the Game of Thrones thread, and it had absolutely nothing wrong with it, so yes some troll flagged you.

Don't worry- I had someone following me and trolling me a week or so ago, and anons assured me that you can't get suspended or anything from that. Apparently, a human admin will eventually look at multiple shitposts and in your case.

>>22
Maybe I got this warning because that guy spamming as RedCream posted at the same time. However his activity has gone down dramatically.

And about Cornman yeah it was a friend who bought it for very cheap thought hey it might be good. When we watched it we couldn't believe how bad it was. It's a long time ago we saw this (10 years or more ). I remember the movie mocked itself not taking itself seriously. Funny I only thought about this movie when you mentioned your choice. Cornholing - corn - cornman so thanks a lot babe

Recently came out was MUCK a f*king discrace to cinema, absoute garbage, do your self a favour and keep away from this abomination.

Stupidest in conception or as a movie in general?

Birdemic is just terrible, but the concept is just the birds made badly. Maybe something like Halloween resurrection is just plain stupid. Or maybe jaws the revenge is worse. I dunno there's lots out there!

>>25
The horrible acting in Birdemic was what really made it stupid, I thought. Still a classic.

Friday the 13th part 2. Yeah Jason didn't really drown, he just almost drowned then instead of going back to his mom he decided to go live in the woods near Camp Crystal lake for 20 years and no one ever noticed.

>>26
I also found that one to be the most dull.

Prehistoric Bimbos in Armageddon City is the correct answer. I am right in this. It is known.

>>1
How am I the worlds biggest Mulva fan?! Bitch!

>>30

How am I the worlds biggest Mulva fan?! Bitch!

Well, you are one of two people in the entire world that took the time to upload a clip of Mulva onto Youtube.

That's pretty conclusive, the court finds shaza guilty of being the biggest mulva fan in the world

Of the ones I've seen so far, Home Sweet Home (1981).

Don't Be Scarred (2006). Looks like it was made in 4 hours by little kids. Directed by Master P.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2v1cCu8o9z8

This is the actual DVD case. https://archive.is/qkuKq

It is hard to believe that Hip Hop Locos (2001) has not been mentioned yet.

It is stupid, but start a boring Horror movies thread and it'll probably pop up alot.quicker.

Road Kill (2010) That is the current stupidest horror movie I have seen, same goes for Dark Harvest 2: The Maize (2004).

Ripper 2: Letter From Within (2004) Talk about a pointless *beep* movie. I don't think the original will ever be appreciated much, but it did a decent job for what it was (a new-age slasher) and I rather enjoyed it. I watched it on Netflix expecting a so-so movie but found myself rather engrossed in the story. Its sequel though.... it blew chunks.

Can I say all James Wan supernatural themed films, for the inevitable, witless, tiresome discussion between "skeptics" and "ghost hunters"?

I'd rather shove a pointed stick up my ass and sit on it for two hours than go through another one of those.

What's this fascination with anal sex you're not Kenneth Pinyan's ghost are you?

>>39
I am, as a matter of fact.

Shadow is going to hate you for that, she absolutely adores The Conjuring. Actually when I watched 5 modern supernatural horrors by means of a test I believe it was Annabelle - The Conjuring - Haunter - Jessabelle and Oculus, Shadow told me the Conjuring was the best rating it a 8,5/10.
I ended up liking Oculus and Haunter quite a bit. Jessabelle was OK. Annabelle was really bad and Conjuring I thought wasn't much better. I gave it a 4/10.
Well timed jump scares they say, I'm getting the image of someone standing there looking his stopwatch and saying yes now boo! What does that movie wants to be anyway I wonder. Insidious much of the same garbage IMO. Sometimes I wonder if there are people drawing lines for every jump scare and count them at the end of the flick, 1 point for every jump scare. While Insidious was not bad as comedy (clowny ghosts and darth maul demon, ghostbuster guys) Conjuring was tedious to watch. Forgive me the expression but I call it popCORN horror or horror for the popCORN generation.

I liked Saw. Did you like Saw?

>>42
I did. It's the reason I added the "supernatural themed" caveat.

That said, Saw was above average at best. It lacked soul. Cube is at least 10,000 times better, to the extent that I'd say Saw is take it or leave it- not a necessary watch for horror fans.

Cube is most certainly a necessary watch.

James Wan is the main problem with horror films today

But shouldn't a movie like Saw not have a soul?

The only other Wan film I've seen is Insidious. I didn't care for it mainly cuz it's just not my kind of movie.

I've never seen Cube.

I know what you mean- there's definitely a place for a mechanistic, relentless, gore fest in which elaborate and awful kills are contrived. Saw gets full marks for that, and to be fair, in this respect Saw is at least 10 million times better than the Final Destination franchise.

But Cube also has this! But it also has heart, meaning well written, realistic characters that you care for. In Cube, the "Wren" was particularly memorable. No character in Saw is memorable in the same sense, that you really root for him.

The fact that you root for the "Wren" increases the horror of his inevitable mechanistic, abominably cruel death.

This heightens the truly horrific experience for the viewer. A horror film that fails to engender pathos, to borrow a term from Aristotle's explication of Greek tragedy, is a horror film that ultimately fails to engage the viewer. Final example- the main character of Headless did succeed in engendering pathos in the viewer, making his horrifying deeds all the more horrifying- because he was fated to do these things. This is a hallmark of great horror writing. If the Headless killer had been some nameless cheese dick run of the mill slasher villain, the film would not have been anywhere near as great as it is.

And it is a great film.

James Wan is like Adolf Eichman. Efficient, capable, energetic, and utterly banal. If he'd had any guts he would have killed himself in the last scene of Saw in one of those great traps.

Now THAT I could respect.

To be fair, first Saw isn't even so gory. People looking for a gore fest would be disappointed with that movie.

If you are looking for the most shocking gore fest, try Headless (2015) I can't recommend this film enough. Watching it was like someone shoving a live wire up my arse.

The Black Witch Project (2001)

They're supposed to be in the Army, but none of their uniforms match, they tell the story of Halloween (1978) (as I recall), there's no witch, there's a guy in a ski mask who fails to be an effective killer, the dialog is bad, the characters are stupid, the video is grainy, there's no plot, and it seems to last 23 hours, but it's only 50 minutes long!

For complete and utter stupidity it's hard to beat Night of the Lepus. But it's so damn hilarious I feel bad for listing it.

Camel Spiders is just... excruciating. In the same vein as Birdemic, but without the comedy factor. And spiders instead of birds.

>>50
Yeah. Camel Spiders was fkn ridiculous.

>>51
Haha. My buddy and I rented it when we were 16 or so. Had no clue what we were in for. lol

The Howling II. It's so stupid, you're entertained by it.

House of the Dead (2003). I give a lot of stupid horror too much credit but this stinker is my personal worst.

Devil Hunter (1980)

It's a Jess Franco film.

>>55
Agreed.

My no. 1 is the Wicker Man remake with crazy crappy Cage,
totally ridiculous.

Also very very stupid: Fright Night remake, the Haunting remake and Psycho remake.

And of course every movie from Rob Zombie.
He seems to have the mindset of a 14 year old.

Cage makes almost everything crappy, imo.

The oscar winner disagree's
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xkMPOmn7WA

>>58
LoL @ Oscar winners.

The Item is surely up there.

Sssssss (1973) is really fûcking stupid. This scientist isn't mad, he's a fûcking moron. It's like the writer wrote a comedy, but no one making the movie ever realized it. The "best" thing about the movie is his superior race of snake people aren't bipedal humanoid snake men like you're thinking they may be when you see the failed experiment, no, they're just normal snakes.

You thought the successful experiment was going to be a snake man with arms and legs? Well fûck you, that might look cool and visually interesting, here's a normal cobra. Luckily the scientist doesn't keep a mongoose around. He does? Fûck. Well there goes the future of humanity. The best best thing about it is it's seeming not even like some budget thing, because they did make a full snake man with arms and legs, but then he just turns into a cobra...and not even like a cool giant horror movie cobra, just a normal cobra.

Probably Ouija because for the entire movie we're lead to believe that this mom demon ghost is haunting the kids, and they have to free the child from some "bondage", but then we learn that it was actually the kid that was haunting them, and the mom was trying to help them. If the mom was trying to help them, and the kid couldn't do anything because she was held captive by some dental floss, then who was haunting the kids???

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