Help /lounge/, I'm being dragged to church by some girl I'm so close to getting. She is a huge biblefag, and I acted like one for a while to get her to fuck with me. (Not literally)

How do I act natural in church, I just dont want to stand there and look like a douchebag but I dont want to overdo it and embarrass the shit outta myself. Should I just pull a Trump and sway back and forth to every song?

Sing the Russian national anthem and at the end say "may the force be with you" as you gaze pensively at a non-existent force apparition of yoda's junk.

>>1
If you've never been, prepare for an experience.

A whole lot of sheep led by some leeches, all pretending they are holier than thou.

It's fucking torture to know there are people out there that desperate to belong to something.

But whatever tickles your altar boy's pickle.

>>1
Whenever I'm in a social setting I've never been in before I just watch other people and mimic what theyre doing.

>>1
run bitch is not worth it

Raise your hand when they do, close your eyes when they do and sing their songs

>>1
Just say watermelon over and over again. That will make you look like you know the words to the song.

Jesus loves you anon, and wants to give you a big old hug and bring you home to his eternal kingdom!

Don't worry about being embarrassed, the Church goers most likely won't care and will be very friendly and hospitable towards you.

Just be honest, tell them you're not a Christian, and that you're open minded, no matter how much you hate them they will love you, as Jesus loves us, assuming it's a Church of true believers.

Be honest with your girl if you love her, if you start off with lies and deception, it won't work out. Even if you've lied already, tell her anyway, and she will forgive you.

>>1
When it gets quiet jump up and say "ooooooohhhhh black Jesus!"
Church girls are naughty. Enjoy

>>1 Providing actual advice, which church denomination is it?

Damn this is gonna be special. Attend a 2 hour cringe fest for some pussy. I think its worth, I just have to be unassuming.

I have to supress my urge to RKO the pastor when he goes up the stairs.

>>1
Jews have been pushing on a-religion and agnosticism to push out the traditionalist Christian sense of morality to instill their own twisted perception of morality, (fag rights, etc), to make THEM more money. Take the red-pill anon.

>>12
They say there's safety in numbers.

Try telling that to 6 million Jews.

It shoudl be illegal to fuck retards (christians)

>>14
Rude.

You don't say.