I've just hit such a low i didn't know i could be such a horrible piece of shit human being. I've ruined every relationship I've ever been in due to projecting my own insecurities. I've fucked up the lives of so many people i pretended to love... I don't even know what do do with myself.

What the fuck is wrong with me

please someone talk to me convince me i can do better please

>>2
You can't.

>>3
I understand.

>>1
Other people feel this way too, I do, if it worries you I think it means you're not such a piece of shit, cause part of you cares about the results of your actions. I recommend you post this in /bijou/.

You're only capable to fix yourself if you're willing to make change to yourself. If you can't fix what's wrong with you, you'll never fix anything in your life.

>>1
Have you tried not projecting your own insecurities and only pretending to love people?

>>5
/bijou/ is shit, fam.

Travel around the world, doesn't have to be a good country, just travel

>>6
You're right and I'm definitely making the steps toward self improvement.. but you know what they say about all the negative energy having to clear first. I'm definitely feeling that, and after so long of being a miserable fuck its hitting me like an ocean. So fucked up. I'm so sorry.

>>1
The first step to solving a problem is acknowledging that there is one. You've clearly gotten that step taken care of, so on to the next one. Now you have a few options here: you can do nothing to solve the problems and just accept being a piece of shit human being who ruins every relationship and fucks up peoples' lives, OR you could do something to change that. Either find a way to fix the things you're insecure about, or stop shoving them down peoples' throats. We are all insecure about something unless we're psychopaths, so at least you know you're sane. But when you project the shit out of them to the point of ruining the relationship, it's like you're actively trying to ruin the relationship and blame it on the insecurities as a way of justifying having them in the first place. Don't do that anymore, practice catching yourself and stopping before you do. Also, stop being so overdramatic, that whole "pretended to love" thing is horseshit, stop it. Understand that you are the only person causing the relationships to be ruined and all of that, and you are the only one who's going to be able to stop yourself from doing it. Pull your shit together and regroup anon, you've got some work to do and some life to live.

>>10
What exactly are your issues?

>>1
take 200µg of acid or even better 30mg of 2-CB or Mescaline and be brave and confident to look into the darkness of your soul.

>>12
I'm a drug addicted, closeted fag

>>13
Believe me. I know exactly what my soul is telling me.

>>1
stop judging yourself.

just accept yourself completely.

>>14
What's stopping you from going out to a rehab center?
And how long have you been a fag?

>>13 this also can help this >>14

>>15
You don't know who you are. You're full of self-hatred. But you already know you are projecting your insecurities so face them, let them kill you so they die with you and take a deep breath and rise up again.

I haven't taken psychedelics for 2 years because I don't need them but they've gotten me back up from my lowest

>>17
well, Ive managed surprisingly well to be able to avoid having to go to rehab. In the past I have managed to quit benzos and coke. I'm currently in the process of quitting the green jew, and its making me emotionally unstable as all fucking hell lately. Its the one thing I keep getting dragged back into.

>>1
If you've hit your lowest point, the only way you can is up.

>>19
Keep getting dragged back into? As in your friends are encouraging you to do it or you fall for it yourself?

>>21
A little bit of both. Mostly myself lately as I don't exactly have any friends left to blame.

>>10
Thinking positively is a habit. If you don't have this habit, you'll have to actively try to be positive for 21 days and then you have the foundation of a habit. After that you still have to try, but it'll get easier.

Many people have felt like you and many have gotten out of it again stronger, me included.

>>22
Then what you need to do is look for better friends. Try the church. A lot of people there are willing to help you get off drugs. You don't have to follow the religion if you don't want, but you seriously need to meet new people in real life who can support you so it'll be much easier.

>>1
live as a monk

Are you dead yet? If not please share a video steam of your death, just so we can sure your not a faker.

got a new job
managed to get a decent house in a nice area
white people are walking down the street knocking on doors singing carols

Help me i'm scared. there getting closer

Just fucking end the failure that is my existence.

No matter what I try to do, I fail miserably.

I have zero artistic talent, I can not even do rudimentary angles on stationary objects, that is how trash I am.

I want to "git gud" so to speak, but regardless of where I look, there is always an overcomplicated pile of bullshit that assumes I already have artistic talent and leads nowhere in terms of learning even the basics.

Fuck this gay earth.