Ok /vip/per guys before I tell my tragic story you need some background info, otherwise you won't believe me. I have led a very sheltered life. I am currently living at home as a NEET. I don't watch porn a lot. I never really talked to people in high school. You get the idea. So here's my confession...

be me
be 10, in fourth grade
go into Boston with my mother and a couple friends and their mothers as well
we were going to take a tour of Fenway or something
its a long walk from where we parked
going over a bridge, something catches my eye
its a sticker with an unfamiliar phrase on it, stuck on the railing
fall behind everyone else, mother notices and walks back to see what's up
ask her "what does 'get laid' mean? Is it like when someone gets laid off from work?"
she says, "it's very bad never say it. That's exactly what it means and people get upset when you say it to them"
"o-ok"
ff 16 years
be 26, at a bar, drinking for the first time ever
the only reason why I'm out is because my best friend from middle school found me after all these years
anyway, at the bar and drinking
apparently I can be pretty alpha after a few glasses of vodka
may be NEET but I take care of my health and looked good that night
attracted a few grills
thisisactuallyfun.png
one grill, maybe a 7.5 on your scale, pulls me aside
she says, "hey, wanna get laid after this?"
I say, "uh, what do you mean, I don't even have a job"
then she says, "oh....you're one of those..."
walks away before I can reply
leave a little later, look up 'get laid' when I get home
mfw I read the urban dictionary definition

Help me l just blew my only chance to lose my virginity because I told a grill I don't have a job because I didn't know what get laid means.

*neat

be me

Of course you are you. Who else would you be?

>>3
Someone else.

it's a myth that it was ever implied by evolution, or that a jar of peanut butter can, without any added energy, create life. One step in abiogenesis however was demonstrated by the Miller-Urey experiment.

>>5
"Mister?"
"Mister?!!!"
Just because I have a penis doesn't mean that I'm a man, young lady
I identify as transnigger demiqueer trainkin, and you have just committed an act of rape.
If you don't want to be shat on by the community of my sisters known as the holy feminists, you better give me your hat to wear for free.
Oh, and CHECK.YOUR.PRIVELEGE