Hey /vip/

You know how you occasionally get those kids aged 8 - 13 ish, or possible slightly younger, who persistently do shit like squirt juice at you or throw rocks/items of whatever.

Well, I have been on the verge of literally breaking one of their necks, or at least severely hurting them, but have resisted all this time because i know what the repercussions would be, and there's nothing I can do about it.

TL;DR how to deal with fuck annoying kids without hurting them.

Make it look like an accident.

>>2
Not possible when people believe a crying kid's words over an adult's, thought of that

>>3
Crying kids, they have to be alive for that.

>>4
That's tempting, but they tend to hang around in groups in my area :L would look like less of an accident if i had to kill all of them

>>1
I had a kid try to run me over with his Big Wheel. And it wasn't a plastic one, it was a steel one. The little shit did it once. Cut me a little, bleeding but not bad. Walked away. He tried to do it again, I caught him, grabbed him by his ear and dragged him to his grandma's house. Told her that I was suing if she didn't give me 20 bucks right here and now. She slapped the everloving fuck out that boy, he cried like a bitch. I got a 20 and walked away.

Remind them santa isnt real
if its on your property you can legally "adopt" nudism and scar them once the parents get involved tell them you can keep scaring them or they can not come here anymore

>>1
Between work (no kids), transportation (my car) and social life (parties in apartments, bar, "grown-up" hobbies, shopping in specific shops), I hardly see any kids near from me. Besides the few eating their own feces in my basement, those little cuttie pigs.

>>7
Lol, not in England unfortunately i don't think... Correct me on that though.

>>6
That's glorious... Yeah no it wouldn't work out that way here, kids who are shit spoilt by their mothers tend to reside here, that or they don't give a fuck what their kids are up to and discipline is just a non-factor

fill a couple 2 litre bottles with piss (preferably the bright yellow, dehydrated kind). leave it to sit for approximately 4-6 weeks, it will develop mold spores and become extremely disgusting. fill a supersoaker with this piss, add some sugar to it for good measure. blast them with it
???
profit

>>10
I knew his grandmother. Old fashioned stern woman. She and her whole family is a bitch, but she knows I don't play around. Of course this is Southern Louisiana. That sourt of punishment is expected.

>>1
Had the same problem. Saw him on his own, grabbed him round the back of the neck and told him I watch everything he does.
Worked lol. Don't even know what I meant, but it scared the shit out of him lel

>>12
That's brilliant. The worst that happens here is a mild telling off 'Now jimmy, say sorry to the man'. Then it just goes back to square one. OR WORSE YET. They apologise for the child.

>>13
If I did that they'd probably just kek and carry on, take the piss as it were. The kids that do it are conditioned enough by working life or old enough not to be scared by that shit, because in their mind they're the top of the world.

>>14
Oh god, I hate that sort of shit. It's a fucking cop-out. It doesn't teach the kid any kind of discipline or the difference of right and wrong. Lazy fucking parents who's little kids are accidents.

I use a douche every morning after my morning shit to clean my asshole out

this is so cruel. children are loving and affectionate little shits.

>>18

actually believing this
2013+3-2+1

ISHYGDDT

>>16
Occasionally you get nice kids who are raised properly. I like those.

>>16
nigger the only difference between right and wrong is perspective but your beta conditioned ass doesn't know that anymore and the children do that's why you get smacked around by children,even they can see how much of a fuck boy you are

If you get a chance, call them out on it and ask them, sincerely, why they do it.

get a super soaker and shoot em with water

that would piss anyone off and it would come accross and playful to anyone watching or complained to

oh i was just playing jesus

Kids just want attention. Ignore them and they'll move on

>>1
Psychological damage OP.

Just tell them, boy or girl, that they are ugly as shit.

Literally the ugliest, most unattractive person you have ever seen in your entire life and you're feeling physically sick just being near them.

They will resist, pretend to laugh it off, call you names in retaliation... But deep down they feel it. Their insecurities will consume them from there onwards. They will develop eating disorders, and suffer until the day they die.

Trust me nigger, it works.

>>25
This would be really good, but like i said, these kids are conditioned as fuck, they probably already got this from their parents or otherwise.

>>26
Pay some scunm bag kids. If it comes back on you then just say you've never seen these kids before. And besides scum bag kids ain't gonna talk to the filth. They hate them more than you.

put book on child's head
hit book with hammer
hurts like hell, but leaves no marks

Well, that's what my parents did anyway.

Become a Christian and summon a she-bear.

>>29
I'm intrigued by your theories and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.