Hi /lounge/ femanon here.

I know like 90% of you are guys so I'm wondering if you could help me out with my dilemma here as I don't really know what to do.

Okay, I'm 19 years old and have been best friends with anon from high school since 7th grade (UK). We have done everything together, hanging out daily, like with sports, cinema, sleepovers, cuddles and I really do love him... but not the way he wants me to.

He asked me out last year, with flowers which was really cute as I was shocked... I never saw him that way. He's alright looking, but I left it at a cliffhanger with "I'll think about it" and eventually he got impatient after a week and told me it's okay. We resumed being friends but he asked me again and got angry at me for "playing with his feelings" and confessed I just don't see him that way.

He ignored my calls, texts and visits for 5 months. I felt so depressed because I don't want to lose him. I saw him at the supermarket and we got talking and he says he's over it. We went to a cafe and I tell him I don't want to lose him but he confesses that he needs to "move on". What? He asks me if I will give it a shot and I told him I'm not interested sorry.

He says maybe it's best we don't be friends, I feel so shit /lounge/ I want my friend back. What is the best thing to do? I also currently am sort of interested in another guy but I know if I do anything he will think I'm taking him for an idiot.

I'm sure he doesn't want to lose you, but at the same time it probably is painful for him to be around you. I did the same thing to a girl I liked, and trust me, it felt horrible. But it was too sad for me to have not done so. (We eventually made up.)

I'm not saying you should go out with him if you don't feel a connection. But try to be easy on him. Maybe you could even recommend him somebody else so you can still remain friends while he seeks love somewhere else. Don't rush into a relationship until you think he's comfortable with the idea. I mean, you could if you really wanted to, but it could risk your friendship.

What is the problem?
Is there something in particular where you are insecure about?
Is it based on early rejection followed by bitterness?

Self esteem is stupid. Confidence is what you need.