Why can't you trick an aborted feetus?
it wasn't born yesterday

What happened when Adam Lanza went to the elementary school?
27 dead.

what is faster than a nigger whit a TV?
his son with the DVD.

what runs faster a nigger with a gun?
or a white man in front of him!
Too late the cops shot the nigger dead.

My sons wanted me to check under his bed for monsters. I played along and looked under the bed, but my son was there petrified "Daddy...somebody's on my bed..."

My son asked me to check under his bed for monsters.
That's when I saw my son, under the bed and he said "Somebody's on my bed."

>>5
wow omg wow, just wow. This is very well written, how did you think this up?

My daughter won’t stop crying and screaming in the middle of the night. I visit her grave and ask her to stop, but it doesn’t help.

>>7
My daughter died a year ago, and I've lived alone ever since.

I sleep with headphones on to drown out her voice.

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.