Can someone share what it is was like for them in the early stages of schizophrenia?

I can remember a definite point in my life where things "switched" in my head. I think I may be developing some sort of mental illness looking back on recent years.

After my father passed away approximately 2 year ago, I felt apathetic for a long time; however, I was focused on education and work. I didn't feel at all sad at the funeral, in fact I just felt disconnected. Nothing seemed real.

Ever since my conscious always has periods that nothing feels real. It's like I have my own Tyler Durden, and I switch into this mindset that everything is a lie and I can't see the greater picture of what's going on in the world. I feel most of the time as if this is a simulation and my organic body is a bottleneck or an anchor for higher becoming a higher being?

It's very hard to describe, it isn't much more than a feeling, but it seems very important to me. Much of the time I am very passionate about things that seem to be universal constants, and may have potential answers to this existence.

There isn't much more to the story, and maybe I'm over worried. I am at the age though (19) where this sort of thing develops.

If anyone has experience with this sort of thing I would like to here about it.

Also, I posted it here because I wanted to get this out in a quasi-anonymous place, so that it feels relatively risk free.

Are you hearing voices?

Did i say i hear voices? Nope. I have nothing more to add.

>>4
Okay. Well. Hearing voices is an important part of being diagnosed with schizophrenia.