I've always been a petty criminal, retail theft is my specialty. For years I've been stealing all kinds of stuff that I "need" but don't want to pay for: everything from toothpaste, to robotussin (to get high, of course), to vitamins and supplements (5-htp for rolling, biotin to make my hair look nicer), to lunchables and the such.

But tonight I have a better plan. You see, after a 6 pack of pabst and however much kush I can manage to scrape up, myself (22), and my little brother (16) are going to go steal some magic cards.

Heres the plan:
its 2 am. I go into walmart and grab a blue basket, and fill it up with 5 starter boxes of magic the gathering cards, valued at about $30 each. I than proceed to fill the basket to the top with about 20-30 $4 booster packs.

I walk to the floral exit, where, seeing as its winter at 2 am, there will surely be no one attending, flip the switch by the doors, and enter my brothers car. We GTFO and i throw the basket out the window as soon as I empty out the cards.

Why would I commit such a stupid and heinous crime? Because I want to play magic the gathering, however I don't have money for this nerdy shit, all of my money goes toward mescaline and ketamine.

any suggestions?

When I became full age, I was thinking about getting a tattoo. But then I realised I don't need one. The end.