strange topic here but I dont know who else id go to for advice seeing as I dont know where to start, and im far from comfortable with having a conversation about this with a therapist.. atleast at this point, Long story short I tripped acid last night at home alone, 4 hits of some primo shit. Not for the faint of heart.

It got really deep. The visuals were completely blindsided by a deep psychiatric journey into my fucking soul. I started having visions of my childhood, and not good things. Horrendous acts of bullying and shit that I almost had forgotten about. But it got way, way WAY fucking deeper.

At one point I found myself in a situation I actually HAD forgotten about. I was in the home office of a neighborhood kids house who at the time was 12-14 yrs. I would have been something like 8 or 9. I remember us looking at porn on the office computer, but that's about all I can remember. I felt myself during my trip trying so badly to figure out what else had happened that day with the kid. If something along the lines of molestation or god fucking forbid rape had occurred, its deeply deeply hidden away and I can solely name it for many psychological issues in my life.

I remember somehow the parents of this kid found out soon after this had happened that we were looking at porn. Sure, this may have been normal for kids around our age, but remember there was roughly a 5 year age difference here. I can hazily remember my parents being very upset when they found out. Not with me, I knew they weren't mad at me. But thinking about it now I can kindof remember them asking me about him a lot shortly after this occurred.

If I was in fact abused, I need to dive into myself and at minimum have some kind of idea what actually happened. How, /lounge/, please tell me how.