so /lounge/ might be the worst group of people to ask about this, but nonetheless here we are.

so earlier today I was talking with my roommates, most of which are male, but I live with a few girls too. somehow the topic of the video where the lady walks through NYC and records all the 'harassment' she receives came up. now granted I agree some of the dudes in that video were pretty creepy, but I said something to the effect of 'the majority of that video doesn't constitute harassment, and without the select few instances (such as the guy saying 'what, you don't like me cause I'm ugly? and the guy that follows her) that video would be a joke. just some woman walking around in tight clothing not returning a single hello'. I didn't mean for that to be offensive or anything, I just think when someone says hello to you you say hello back. don't even have to stop walking or anything.

anyway, one of the girls took a lot of offense to that, saying that because they were not saying hello to be friendly, that it was ok to ignore them. I agree with her on that part, nobody is entitled to a response from a complete stranger on the street, or really anyone for that matter. she said it constituted harassment. I think that's fucking ludicrous, someone saying hello to you on the street and nothing more is now considered harassment? anyway, she started getting pissed off, and started like attacking me personally, saying how I'm a drug addict (true, I don't refute this fact) who doesn't have any respect for women, which is why I'm foreveralone (I am foreveralone, but I don't think thats why).

I pretty much just said something like 'well then, I must have struck a nerve' and went back to cooking. may seem beta as fuck (I honestly don't know, maybe it was), but I have no desire to get into a shouting match with someone who I not only live with, but as of like 3 hours ago, thought was a pretty level headed, cool girl.

Cont: I Have been trying to work on the whole foreveralone thing, so what she said kinda made me think. am I delusional jaded asshole? I spent some time thinking about it, and I still stand by what I said. not counting all the 'hello's she received, there were very few instances of actual harassment...and it took at least 10 hours to get those? I feel like if anyone walked around NYC for that long, they'd get harassed by someone for something, maybe not for the same reasons as the lady though.

thoughts?

>>1-2
Mate, you are wrong.

The 'hellos' are not in a nice way.

Its similar to living in a shit hole ghetto place, like where I grew up. If you are white and walk through there you will get similar shit, its not cat calling, its looking for a response. People will shout shit like 'hey white boy' and shit like that. It IS threatening. Having people yell shit at you on the street is harassment.

>>2
If your walking around NYC looking for harassment, your gonna find it eventually. Everyone knows this.

>>3
man, I grew up in Los Angeles, I am white, I know all about this. if someone says to me 'hey man' or 'hey' I just say hey back. really not that fucking hard. but when a group of black or mexican hood rats yells 'hey white boy', sure thats different, but still not harassment in my eyes...I just keep walking, not the end of the world. however if they got up and followed me, then I'd feel a little afraid. I'd liken this scenario to her being followed or the guys who repeatedly tried to engage her, despite getting no response the first time. those are definitely harassment.

but hello? even if it is the meanest hello ever muttered, its just a hello.

Young women in america are out of touch with reality.

that bitch in the video felt privileged and wanted people to advert their eyes and not speak to her

she feels like she's of some higher caste and people should move out of her way, how dare these "people" speak to her, she's above them

not much you can do in that situation. It isn't a conversation, it is an argument.

about all you can do is say "I hear that you say it is harassment, and i disagree"

>>5
It's a hello with an implication of not being safe.

>>5
I think the comparison would be if you are walking down a street, and it is nothing but hoodrats and gansta=shits saying "hey.." "yo man" "sup nigga" etc etc, and that was your entire life.

you would feel constantly threatened, and honestly, rightly so.

the argument is that women feel like all the time - they are in constant danger from men. that these are never just friendly hello

it is annoying, it is true, and I'm really not sure what can be done about it.

Women are so hard to understand. I just ignore them when they start arguing, especially if they go off-road and start talking shit about things that have nothing to do with the actual argument. You won the argument as soon as she started with the personal attacks. I'd just continue to ignore the bitch until she's calm enough for a proper conversation.

Guys are so much fucking easier to communicate with.

>>9
are you serious man? what could possibly make you feel unsafe about strictly a hello? even a hello, you're beautiful? sure its a little weird...but harmless. I have been complimented on the street before, I didn't feel unsafe in the slightest. maybe the person doing the complimenting did in fact want to brutally rape me, but all the said was hello and left it at that.
>>7
seems like these are close to the truth, really.

>>1,2 You being foreveralone has nothing to do with that situation.

You were right in that argument, though.

>>10
rightly so? constant danger?

that was 10 hours of her never once being in danger

>>12
yeah, that was what I was wondering, really.
>>11
pretty much what happened. but I thought perhaps there was truth to what she said, as I am a bit socially retarded.

>>10
Women would be in a lot more danger of being raped if it was unacceptable for men to even introduce themselves to women they'd like to meet. No one would be able to get laid and would be seething with sexual frustration.

But that's how it's becoming thanks to fucktards like you.

>>15
OP, from what little i heard, i dont think you are wrong at all.

You seem like a nice person, dont let it get you down, you will find someone

>>1

and went back to the kitchen

at least she knows her place

>>17
thanks man.I try to be a good person, being nice just comes with that.

thanks for the insight, /lounge/

>>10
So you're just scared of black people then?

Say "sup" back and keep walking, faggot. What's the problem? What's it like to live in constant fear?

>>1
I don't think you said anything wrong. I'm a femanon and I have seen that video and I felt the same way about it as you did. There isn't much in that video that constitutes harassment.

Idk women are fucking crazy now. In the city I am in they are all about 'preventing rape culture' they do so once a year by dressing in their underwear or less and parading through the city stating that they are 'still not asking for it'.

Personally I wouldn't worry about it too much or let her words bother you. She just sounds like a typical woman of our generation.

people are playing dumb in response to this video. you can set the argument up for "how is saying, hello, harassment?", but we all know it wasn't just a "hello". it was "hey mammi" "hey beautiful". it's a hello with more intention to it. people aren't dumb when it comes to social cues, and if you are, then get the fuck out of the argument anyways. whether those hellos and other greetings are deemed as harassment or not, it's been qualified enough for people to start feeling harassed.

hey OP, no sweat man, all women are cunts.

they're money grubbing assholes. NEVER forget this.

that video was only considered harassment by her because she wasnt attracted to any of the men approaching her lol.

had hot/rich guys did the same? the video would have a different title altogether.

>>5
mfw I pretend to be completely oblivious to their aggression and just ask them how their day is so far.

This has worked many times. I have made many friends this way.

>>21
This. Maybe it's because I grew up in a small place where it was considered good manners to say hi when you pass someone and look at one another and sometimes even if you don't, and I was always told if someone says hello you say hello back. I live in a city now (though a smaller one) but that's still my attitude to it. Don't pretend you know what a man's thinking as soon as he says hello no matter how black his skin is (which is what really pissed me off about calling this "harrassment"). He might just want to say hi to a good looking woman, and there's nothing wrong with that, we'd never get anywhere without saying hi to each other. He might want to con you out of some money or rape and kill you but in the meantime try to have some manners when people are polite you fucking pig.

>>25
oh actually I don't know why I quoted that whoops

>>10

these are never just friendly hellos

This is what women actually think. Women actually think that all guys want to fuck them. The amount of power they think their fucking pussy has is unimaginable, they think everything you do while they're within range of you is to get their attention and to hopefully maybe get inside their vagina.

This is why women who're not old wrinkly grandmas aren't worth a polite smile or a friendly hello. They don't think it's just a polite smile or a friendly hello, their vagina-egos are that fucking big.

tl;dr completely ignore women under 70 years old unless you want to get laid or thought of as a creeper, it's a coin toss.

the point was that while it may have been slightly more than a hello, it was well below harassment. they can feel harassed all they want, but that doesn't mean that they're justified in feeling so

>>2
I think that she's right in that you and many men don't properly empathize. You focused on the point that it shouldn't constitute harrassment. It's a trap men fall into (I am male btw) that we focus on semantics and language instead of actually grasping the point that women do have to deal with this kind of shit and it is not pleasant.

You weren't wrong but you glazed over the point by going into the semantics of what "harrassment" means. Girls speak from a more emotional point of view so by you saying it didn't constitute harrassment she took it as meaning that you didn't think what they did was wrong, or causing distress.

You're taking what she said as an argument when she's just trying to express her displeasement at the video, you could have just said "yeah that's really shitty, I didn't know that kind of thing happens to girls". She's not going to keep trying to argue that it is defined specifically by the word harrassment, she just wants you to agree that it's in some way bad.

>>1 here's how it is; it's not harassment to say hello or to give someone a compliment. Also, its unfair to say that all the men in the video were only saying hello because she was pretty, if you followed each man and found him only saying hello to pretty girls and ignoring everyone els, then that would be different, but the video doesn't evidence that..

THAT SAID

an attractive female has to live her WHOLE life worrying about not putting herself in a situation to be raped. Rape is a thing that does happen to women. and they are taught early on to be wary of strangers.

Constant reminding that you are attractive to strangers (a candidate for rape) HAS to be uncomfortable.

as a dude who has never in his life cat called a girl, and makes a point not to address strangers unless i'm addressed first, i do not understand the need at all to tell a random girl "hello, have a beautiful day" the very best thing that can happen is she might say "thanks you too"

so what is the point?!

STOP FUCKING TALKING TO STRANGERS!

I once had an issue at school. (Ask a chick for nudes online, she printed it off and showed the principle). I was almost going to get charged for it. But due to my clean record and everything I got a much lighter sentence. But my problem was that i was apparently 'sexually harrassing' this girl. Which really got on my nerve. All i had did was asked a question of a sexual nature. Probably shouldnt have. But she could have replied with no, fuck off, go suck a dick or yes you may. My understanding of harassment was a continuous thing. Like if i had asked her on several occasions after which she said no.

Sometimes girls just like to scream rape. Probably a power thing.

>>4
agree on this too, if some girl with leggings go out dressing like a slut she'll find every kind of "attention" on the streets, this is logic

>>22
Who gives a fuck?

It shouldn't be unacceptable for guys to try to meet a girl who walks by just by saying hello.

You know the only difference to these feminist cunts between when it is or isn't acceptable is when the guy is ugly or hot/poor or rich/geeky or cool

Dumb fuck white knight

>>31
What the fuck is wrong with you kids?

Why would a girl send nudes to a guy she is only friends with? The fuck?

If a girls willing to send you nudes, you could have just fucked her and not been seen as a spineless beta.

If you even ask, you pretty much blew all your chances because now you just seem like a pussy instead of making moves on her in person and possibly getting laid

Seriously are you all fucking retarded? I bet girls actually send them out to beta losers like you anyway because they're even dumber

>>30
Women are going to get raped a lot more if they live in a society that doesn't allow men to approach them

Do you even think about the stuff you say or do you just parrot every thing any semi attractive girl says?

>>30

as a dude who ... makes a point not to address strangers unless i'm addressed first,

This sounds like a sad and reclusive way to live life.

>>35
dude, if i walked down the street and every 10 minutes some street person said "hello rich man"
i would start to fear being robbed.

there's nothing wrong with saying hello, or complimenting a stranger

there is also nothing wrong with feeling uncomfortable when some one does ESPECIALLY when it happens frequently

why do it at all?

fuck off retard.
you're probably black and don't see a problem with "gettin' at" every girl that walks by.

>>36
not really, i like the people i like.
if i'm in a situation where socialization is expected, i'll greet some one first and make their acquaintance (work, school, sitting next to a person on an airplane)

just not strangers walking down the street.

>>2
Think about the alternative. A near clean-room, highly ordered environment, where everyone tiptoes all the time, there are no unauthorized interactions, no surprises, nothing personal. Existence would become mere rules and sheer, hard, cold, functionality.

Having shit you didn't want thrust on your and having to adapt is part of what it is to be human. There are a lot of aspects of the human condition that should be worked on, but this is not one of them. Your roommate oughta grow up, or better yet, she ought to be alone and broken herself for long enough to see another side of reality, and rebuild with a decent perspective on what the world and life really is. It is her who's living the delusion, and unfortunately, this is what happens to a lot of people who never have enough problems they're forced to deal with on their own, or they're in a position where they can continually fill their voids with the presence of another.

am i the only person who feels that the following things are true:
1.) most of the guys in the vid didn't seem to mean any harm and did nothing wrong.

2.) It is understandable that the girl in the video would feel uncomfortable that so many people approached her and made comments about her appearance (not all).

harassment is not the right word for it, but when taken all together, it is something.

also 2 of the guys CLEARLY crossed the line and did not respect her personal space.

in america we have a thing called elbow room. as a guy, it means walk or stand to close to me for an unreasonable amount of time and expect you can expect be knocked out.
if a girl responds by simply "telling on you" for harassment, then you get off lucky.