And the last time she was gone for a few months, I started fucking a hot, tight, 21 year old who would let me do things to her the first night we fucked that my wife has never let me do. She sucks cock, lets me cum in her mouth, do anal, and she squirts a lot! We fucked almost every day while the wifey was out of town, and she was completely understanding that when it had to end it had to end. Wife is going to leave town again in a month, but now my mistress is in a committed relationship. How do I convince her to fuck me again, even though she's in a relationship? I want that perfect pussy again so bad.

You're like a hamster in a wheel. Only the hamster knows it isn't going anywhere. The wheel is your mind. You think of ways to change things but they often end up reinforcing your current situation because they backfire.

Start exercising. It doesn't matter what just do it and make it progressively harder.