Hey /lounge/, I need to rant.
How am I supposed to deal with constantly being surrounded by the most depressing people on the planet? For the last year my family has been so negative and pessimistic that it's really starting to wear me down. I don't really blame them for their attitude, as we're going through some hard times, but it's getting to the point where every day all I hear is complaining and self loathing. My Dad works nearly 120 hours a week all 7 days to stop us from losing our home. My mom is disabled from a car accident and only brings in a little disability, but she spends all day stuck in her bed which really gets to her because she was really active before. Being stuck with just her thoughts all day has really taken a toll on her and she's begun to slowly lose it and go crazy, but now its to the point where she thinks she has psychic powers. My brother is only a freshman in highschool so he tries to help but can't do too much. Now I'm 30 and working two jobs and going to school to help my family, even working 60 hours a week I'm not bringing in that much. So nowadays my dad comes home, tired and too sore to move (does construction work at the age of 60) He just sits around and gets high to numb himself and just has time to shower and go to sleep. On the weekends he rarely moves. My mom just sits around in her room rambling to herself and coming up with these crazy conspiracies. I try to clean up and make meals and shit for people, but everyone is so negative, and Its fucking with me. Just complaints complaints complaints complaints complaints all day, never any positivity whatsoever.

So what should I do /lounge/? This shit is killing me inside and I want to go out and live my life but I feel so bad leaving them alone. And even working so much I'd have to devote all my money to myself again for rent and school and bills if I left. I'm so conflicted even though I know I have to leave at some point. Every month I tell myself, things will get better next month.

And when things are better, I can leave and be confident. But things aren't getting better, they're getting worse week by week. First my grandma died which sent my mom into an even deeper depression. Now my dad went to the doctor for pain meds and told him he can't work much longer until he gets serious medical problems in his shoulders which are basically blown out. They told him he needs to retire. But where dipping into any savings we have to pay for the house, and a financial advisory said that he's gonna need to work for at least 12 years on a strict plan to even be able to consider retiring.

Sorry for posting so much, feels good to write it out though.

Bump

You just gotta be positive dude.
Believe that shit will get better; be honest to yourself; it will. Don't lie to yourself, you'll end up worse. Be positive,know that there is a good day coming. Make the good days. They don't just happen, you gotta make it happen man.

Be positive, act positive, radiate positivity. Smile for a reason.

I was sad and shitty, but then I just realised its getting me nowhere but depressed and into a gutter. Find something that makes you smile, even if only for a second, remember it, hold onto it. When shit looks bad, remember.
I know it sounds stupid, but for me it was Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani. I never liked it, but it reminded me of ages ago when everything was simple, shiny and I was happy. I sing it whenever the world gets to me, and people normally join in or look at me funny. ANYWAY

Best of luck OP, you have been dealt a worse hand than I.

>>4
Haha, thanks anon.
What do you think I should do though? Should I stick around and stay with my family and fight through this, or would it be best to get out of there now? I love them but when I'm away my life is great. I just spend too much time thinking about them and it gets me down.

>>1 So between you and your father you're working 180 hours a week?
Even on minimum wage, you should be able to very comfortably afford a good house and medical treatment for both parents.

What's the deal? What country are you living in?

>>5
Gotta leave Keep in contact. Become less codependent

>>6
Yeah, but a lot of my money goes to paying off school. And I guess they refinanced our house a few years back or something and it's really biting them in the ass for some reason, not completely sure but our bill is supposedly ridiculous.

My mom also needs lots of medical procedures done and physical therapy and shit. And she used to work from home to bring in more money working for my grandma but she died and her business was taken down. We don't have a nice house or anything but it's in a really expensive city to live in.

>>6 And also, even with medical treatment, hes still just getting too old to be pouring concrete and doing all these labor intensive jobs. So he's trying to get an office job with the company but if it doesnt work out he has nothing else to back up

>>8
Then your family needs to move to a much less expensive area. Immediately. It sounds like trying to afford all of this is literally killing your father. You mother is literally going insane because the amount you two are working leaves you unable to support her.
You need to stop living in such an expensive place.

And you need to decide whether helping your family or going to school is more important to you, because the way things are going, you obviously can't do both.
And that's a decision nobody on /lounge/ will be able to make for you. Only you can decide.