I'm about to get a barb wire wrap tattoo around my flabby bicep and I thought of Chandler saying "could you make any more life changes today?" So I said to myself, "Why not?" I already started my new AOL free trial disk, so why not see about upgrading my Windows to 98.

My only problem is, how can it possibly be any better than 95?! It even had a start-up chime. They thought of everything. So can 98 really be superior? As if!

That's like saying you could make a better comedy than Seinfeld, or a better drama than Dawson's Creek.

I mean seriously, it's as ridiculous as thinking that next year's new Star Wars movie can actually suck! It couldn't possibly be any worse than those special editions last year, and they weren't that bad at all. It's not like Lucas will keep adding stuff to those movies...

What's the rush?

Go with W98 SP1. They never topped that iteration. Be sure to setup your DOS sound drivers to load in autoexec.bat so you can still play your old DOS games.

Thanks for the tip. Don't know if I can live without playing some Rogue.

Optimizing your IRQ assignments can make it run super fast.

You're gonna love Dial Up.

What is that, one of those "party lines?" Those are for dweebs, man.

I'm going to ask Clippy the paper clip if that's a good idea for me, too. Windows 95 has never let me down so I'm not quite sure.