So what do you guys think of Harry Potter?

Harry Potter and the philosopher's stone.

Chapter 1.

We were somewhere around Hogwarts on the edge of the lake when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should fly...." And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like Hippogriffs, all swooping and screeching and diving around the broomstick, which was going about a hundred miles an hour to Hogsmeade. And a voice was screaming "Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?"

Then it was quiet again. Hermione had taken her shirt off and was pouring beer on her breasts, to facilitate the tanning process. "What the hell are you yelling about?" she muttered, staring up at the sun with her eyes closed and covered with wraparound Spanish sunglasses. "Never mind," I said. "It's your turn to fly." I pushed down and aimed the Great Red Broomstick toward the edge of the lake. No point mentioning those Hippogriffs, I thought. The poor girl will see them soon enough...

God, has is only been a week? Harry wondered. He counted the days. 7 full days had passed since he killed Voldemort. How was that even possible?

Harry barely remembered the passing of time. It was true; he had slept most of the week away. After the year he had, Harry wanted nothing more then to sleep. He had endured the funerals of Fred, Lupin and Tonks as best he could. He had pitched in with the reconstruction of Hogwarts, days after the battle had ended. He felt physically and emotionally battered.

The joy of Voldemort’s death was quickly overshadowed by the burial of his friends. Every time he closed his eyes, the image of George weeping over Fred’s casket burned on the back of his eyelids. He could not erase the sounds of Teddy’s cry’s from his brain. He couldn't shut off the waves of sadness that hit him, over and over when he thought of all the people that had died for him, to give him a chance to kill Voldemort. And now it was all over. Harry no longer knew where he belonged.

It was much easier to push reality away with sleep—the grief could not overtake him so fully. In sleep, he only had to run from his dreams.

A knock jolted Harry out of his thoughts.

“Harry, can I come in?” A soft voice called through the door. Ginny.

Without waiting for a reply, the door swung open. “Oh good, you’re awake,” said Ginny, walking into the room.

And then... suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm.

And then... "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MUTHERFUCKERS?" It was Dumbledore.

I just realized how Christian Deathly Hallows is after rereading it
All the talk about salvation of the soul and Harry protecting everyone because he sacrificed himself and Bible quotes
I mean he basically tells Riddle to convert in the last battle because he saw his soul and it's his last chance

Teaching kids to accept their sexuality and gender as it comes is obviously part of the jewish evil plot to destroy the glorious white race. The only correct way to deal with this problem is to do how's been done traditionally: lock your kids into a convent where their ill tendencies will be severely repressed so they will end up with traumas for the rest of their life, and then they can sexually abuse children.

harry potter sucks!

>>7
this.

meh