How do you write dialogue, /book/?

I imagine I'm the characters and I simulate the dialogue in my head over and over again until it sounds natural and not autistic. Then I write it out and edit it because even then it still sounds autistic. Eventually, I sounds nice and natural

I just copy Hemingway

The only acceptable answer is to read it out loud, including yelling when characters yell, so your neighbors or roommates think you're crazy

Give the characters objectives. Language is a means to get what you want.

My book is the inner thoughts of a man with tourettes. The only dialogue is a "cunt" or "twat" screamed every thirty seconds.

Oh please post an excerpt of this guys dialogue

Just write like John Fowles. Never attach any "she saids" or anything to detract from the dialogue:

Anon was sat in his room using his laptop when mother walked in.

"Oh, Christ, you are pathetic, you dropped out of uni and spend all day looking at that website"

"Fuck off, Mother dearest, I'm doing important work."

Anon turned the laptop screen so Mother couldn't see it. He was deeply ashamed of what he had become.

"Do you want anything, Mother, or have you just come to bitch at me again?"

"I want you to get a job. It's not good for you to be like this."

"Good is a linguistic construct, it doesn't actually exists. I bet you believe in forms too, you should go back to reddit.

>>1
I visualize the scene, the setting, the characters, give them a goal, and then let them talk. Then I just do my best to describe what they say. Sometimes they surprise me by turning out to be completely different sort of people from how I imagined them.